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The Tenth Doctor/Rose Era.
Rose: Can you change back?
The Doctor: Do you want me to?
Rose: Yeah.
The Doctor: Oh.
[beat]
Rose: Can you?
The Doctor: No.
--
The Doctor: We haven't got much time. If there's Pilot Fish then - [Finds an apple in his pocket; bewildered] Why is there an apple in my dressing gown?
Jackie: Oh that's Howard's. Sorry, sorry.
The Doctor: He keeps apples in his dressing gown?
Jackie: He gets hungry.
The Doctor: What, he gets hungry in his sleep?
Jackie: Sometimes.
--
Rose: What about the skin? I saw it. You... you got ripped apart!
Cassandra: That piece of skin was taken from the front of my body. This piece is the back.
Rose: [grins] Haha, right, so you're talking out of your ar...
Cassandra: Ask not!
--
Cassandra: [about to take over Rose] The Lady's moving on. It's goodbye trampoline and hello blondie!
--
Cassandra: [after possessing Rose] Oh, my God... I'm a Chav!
--
Cassandra: [in Rose's body; bounces up and down] It's like living inside a bouncy castle!
--
Cassandra: The same Doctor, with a new face! That hypocrite! I must get the name of his surgeon...
--
Cassandra: [after passionately kissing the Doctor while in Rose's body, breathless] T-T-Terminal's this way.
The Doctor: [stunned, voice breaking into a falsetto] Yup, still got it.
--
The Doctor: I'm the Doctor. And if you don't like it, if you want to take it to a higher authority, there isn't one. It stops with me.
--
Cassandra: [in the Doctor's body] Oooh my. This is.. different.
Rose: Cassandra?
Cassandra: Goodness me, I'm a man! Young. So many parts! And hardly used. [as she feels his two hearts beating] Ungh.. Oh! Two hearts! Oh baby, I'm beating out a samba!
Rose: Get out of him!
Cassandra: Oooh, he's slim. And a little bit foxy. [speaks suggestively to Rose] You thought so too. I've been inside your head. You've been looking.. you like it!
--
Sarah: I saw things you wouldn't believe!
Rose: Try me.
Sarah: Mummies.
Rose: I've met ghosts.
Sarah: Robots. Lots of robots.
Rose: Slitheen. In Downing Street.
Sarah: Daleks!
Rose: [smugly] Met the Emperor.
Sarah: Anti-matter monsters!
Rose: Gas-mask zombies!
Sarah: Real living dinosaurs!
Rose: Real living werewolf!
Sarah: The. Loch Ness. Monster!
[beat]
Rose: [impressed] Seriously?
--
Queen Victoria: By the power invested in me by the Church and the State, I dub thee Sir Doctor of TARDIS. By the power invested in me by the Church and the State, I dub thee Dame Rose of the Powell Estate.
--
Magpie: What do you think you're doing?
The Doctor: I want my friend restored. And I think that's beyond a little backstreet electrician. So tell me, who's really in charge here?
The Wire: [appears on a TV] Yoo-hoo! I think that must be me.
--
The Doctor: I'll have to get a house! With - with doors and carpets, can you imagine? Me, living in a house?
Rose: [singsong voice] You'll have to get a mortgage!
The Doctor: No.
Rose: Oh yes.
The Doctor: No. That's it, I'm dying, it is all over.
Rose: I'll have to get one too. Or - it could be the same one. We could...I don't know...share. Yeah, we'll see.
The Doctor: Anyway.
--
Rose: [seeing cat] Hello! Aren't you a beautiful boy?
The Doctor: Thanks. I've been experimenting with back-combing - [seeing cat] Oh. [eyes it with distaste]
Rose: [seeing him grimace] What?
The Doctor: Nah, I'm not really a cat person. Once you've been threatened by one in a nun's wimple it kind of takes the joy out of it.
--
Rose: [Referring to the Isolus] Anyone would think you were on its side.
The Doctor: I sympathise with it, that's all.
Rose: Seems to me like a kid having a temper tantrum cos it can't get its own way.
The Doctor: It's scared! Come on, you were a kid once.
Rose: Yeah, and I know what kids can be like! Right little...terrors.
--
The Doctor: All those times I’ve been on Earth, I’ve never heard of you.
Yvonne Hartman: Well, of course not. You’re the enemy. You’re actually named in the Torchwood Foundation Charter of 1879 as an enemy of the crown.
The Doctor: 1879? That was called Torchwood. That house in Scotland.
Yvonne Hartman: That’s right. Where you encountered Queen Victoria and the werewolf.
Jackie: I think he makes half of it up.
Yvonne Hartman: Her Majesty created the Torchwood Institute with the express intention of keeping Britain great and fighting the alien horde.
The Doctor: If I’m the enemy, does that mean I’m a prisoner?
Yvonne Hartman: Oh yes. But we’ll make you perfectly comfortable.
--
Yvonne Hartman: We have done this a thousand times.
The Doctor: THEN STOP AT A THOUSAND!
--
Yvonne Hartman: One of yours?
The Doctor: [lying] Nope, never seen her before in my life.
Yvonne Hartman: Good. Then we can have her shot.
The Doctor: [defeated] Oh well, it was worth a try. That - that's Rose Tyler.
Rose: Sorry. Hello. [She waves, the Doctor waves back]
Yvonne Hartman: [looking confusedly at Jackie] Then she is?
Jackie: I'm her mother.
Yvonne Hartman: You travel with her mother?
Jackie: He kidnapped me.
The Doctor: Please, when you come to write my entire history, please don't say I travelled through time and space with her mother.
Jackie: Charming.
The Doctor: I have a reputation to uphold.
--
Jackie: But you're dead! You died, twenty years ago, Pete!
The Doctor: It's Pete, from a different universe. There are parallel worlds, Jackie, every single decision we make creates a parallel existence, a different dimension, where...
Jackie: Oh, you can shut up.
--
Rose: Can't you come through properly?
The Doctor: The whole thing would fracture, two universes would collapse.
Rose: So?
--
The Doctor: You're dead - officially - back home. So many people died that day and you had gone missing. You're on the list of the dead. [pause] Here you are, living your life day after day. The one adventure I can never have.
--
[The Doctor and Rose prepare to part ways]
Rose: I-....I love you.
The Doctor: Quite right too. [pause] And I suppose, if it's my last chance to say it...Rose Tyler... [transmission cuts, and the Doctor fades away]
--
Elton Pope: [voiceover] And that's when it all changed. That Tuesday night in March. That's when he arrived.
Victor Kennedy: Lights!
[the lights slam on, revealing Victor]
Elton Pope: [voiceover] That's when we met Victor Kennedy, and the Golden Age was gone.
Victor Kennedy: So, we met at last, 'LINDA'.
Mr. Skinner: Pleased to me you, sir. I'm sorry, was the music too loud?" [he approaches to shake Victor's hand]
Victor Kennedy: No, no, no! I don't shake hands. Back, back! I suffer from a skin complaint. Egg-zee-ma.
Elton Pope: Oh, you mean eczema.
Victor Kennedy: Oh, this is worse. Much worse. I blister to the touch. Back, back all of you further, further. Thank you.
Elton Pope: Sorry, don't mind me asking, but who are you?
Victor Kennedy: I am your salvation.
The Ninth Doctor Era.
The Doctor: D'you know like we were saying? About the Earth revolving? It's like when you're a kid, the first time they tell you that the world's turning and you just can't quite believe it because everything looks like it's standing still. I can feel it -- the turn of the Earth. The ground beneath our feet is spinning at a thousand miles an hour, the entire planet is hurtling around the Sun at sixty-seven thousand miles an hour, and I can feel it. We're falling through space, you and me. Clinging to the skin of this tiny little world, and if we let go... [beat] That's who I am. Now forget me, Rose Tyler. Go home..
--
The Doctor: That won't last; he's gay and she's an alien.
--
The Doctor: Where do you want to start?
Rose: Um, the inside's bigger than the outside?
The Doctor: Ye-es.
Rose: It's alien.
The Doctor: Yep.
Rose: Are you alien?
The Doctor: Yes.
(beat)
The Doctor: That all right?
Rose: Yeah.
The Doctor: It's called the TARDIS, this thing. T-A-R-D-I-S. Time And Relative Dimension In Space.
[Rose lets out a sob.]
The Doctor: It's okay. Culture shock. Happens to the best of us.
--
Rose: We'll go down fighting, yeah?
The Doctor: Yeah.
Rose: Together?
The Doctor: Yeah!
[They link hands.]
The Doctor: I'm so glad I met you.
Rose: Me too.
--
Mickey: I bet you don't even remember my name.
The Doctor: It's Ricky.
Mickey: It's Mickey.
The Doctor: No, it's Ricky.
Mickey: I think I know my own name.
The Doctor: You think you know your own name? How stupid are you?
--
Dalek: You are an enemy of the Daleks! You must be de-stroyed!
The Doctor: It's not working! [Laughs] Fantastic! Oh, ho, ho! Fantastic! Powerless! Look at you, the Great Space Dustbin. How does it feel?
Dalek: Keep back!
The Doctor: What for? What you gonna do to me?! [Beat] If you can't kill, then what are you good for, Dalek?! What's the point of you? You're nothing! What the hell are you here for?
Dalek: I am wait-ing for ord-ers.
The Doctor: What does that mean?
Dalek: I am a sol-dier. I was bred to re-ceive ord-ers.
The Doctor: Well you're never gonna get any, not ever.
Dalek: I de-mand or-ders!
The Doctor: They're never gonna come. Your race is dead! You all burned! All of you! Ten million ships on fire! The entire Dalek race wiped out in one second!
Dalek: You lie!
The Doctor: I watched it happen! I made it happen!
Dalek: You des-troyed us?!
The Doctor: ... I had no choice.
Dalek: And what of the Time-Lords?
The Doctor: Dead. They burnt with you. The end of the last great Time War. Everyone lost.
Dalek: And the cow-ard sur-vived.
The Doctor: Oh, and I caught your little signal, 'help me...poor little thing'! But there's no one else coming 'cause there's no one else left.
Dalek: I am alone in the uni-verse.
The Doctor: Yep.
Dalek: So are you. [Beat] We are the same.
The Doctor: We're not the same! I'm not... No, wait, maybe we are! Yeah, you're right, yeah, okay! You've got a point, 'cause I know what to do. I know what should happen. I know what you deserve... [Raises eyebrow and grins.] Exterminate!
[Throws switch elecrocuting the Dalek. Dalek screams.]
Dalek: Have pity!
The Doctor: Why should I? You never did!
--
The Doctor: Okay. That should hold it.
Capt. Jack Harkness: The door? The wall didn't stop it!
The Doctor: Well, it's got to find us first. C'mon, we're not done yet. Assets! Assets!
Capt. Jack Harkness: Well, I've got a banana, and in a pinch you could put up some shelves -- well, the assets conversation went in a flash, didn't it?
--
The Doctor: You just assume I don't... 'dance'.
Rose: [Amused] Are you telling me you do... 'dance'?
The Doctor: Been around 900 years, me. I think you can assume at some point I've ... danced.
Rose: Doesn't the universe implode or something if you... 'dance'?
The Doctor: Well, I've got the moves, but I wouldn't like to boast.
[Rose turns up the radio.]
Rose: You got the moves? Show me your moves.
The Doctor: [Unnerved.] Rose, I'm... trying to resonate concrete.
Rose: Jack'll get us out. Come on. The world doesn't end if the Doctor dances.
--
Capt. Jack Harkness: I'll have the navcom up and running in ten minutes. Carry on with... whatever you were doing.
The Doctor: We were... talking about dancing.
Capt. Jack Harkness: Didn't look like talking.
Rose: Didn't feel like dancing.
--
R ose: Are the words "distract the guard" heading in my general direction?
Capt. Jack Harkness: I don't think that's such a good idea.
Rose: Don't worry, I can handle it.
Capt. Jack Harkness: I've gotten to know Algie quite well since I've been here. Trust me, you're not his type. I'll distract him. Don't wait up.
[Jack moves off. Rose stares after him, poleaxed, whilst the Doctor grins smugly]
The Doctor: Don't worry, he's a 51st-century guy. He's just a little more flexible when it comes to... 'dancing'.
Rose: What do you mean?
The Doctor: Well, by his time, you lot are spread over half the galaxy.
Rose: Meaning?
The Doctor: So many species, so little time.
Rose: You mean that's what we do when we get out there? We seek new life and...
The Doctor: Dance.
--
Capt. Jack Harkness: Last time I was going to be executed, I ordered two hyper-vodkas. Woke up in bed with both my executioners. They stayed in touch, you can't say that about most executioners.
--
[Rose comments that he's acting like he's Father Christmas.]
The Doctor: Who says I'm not? Red bicycle when you were 12."
Rose: What?
--
[Rose, the Doctor, and Jack finish telling Mickey how they are using the Cardiff rift to refuel the TARDIS.]
Rose:- and off we go -
Jack: - into time -
All together: - AND SPACE!
[The three exchange high-fives.]
Mickey :My God, have you seen yourselves? You all think you're so clever, don't you?
The Doctor: Yep.
Jack: Yeah.
Rose: Yep.
--
The Doctor: So you created an army of Daleks out of the dead.
Rose: That makes them... half human.
Emperor Dalek: Those words are blasphemy!
Dalek: Do not blaspheme! Do not blaspheme! Do not blaspheme!
Emperor Dalek: Everything human has been purged. I cultivated pure and blessèd Dalek.
The Doctor: Since when did the Daleks have a concept of blasphemy?
Emperor Dalek: I reached into the dirt and made new life. I am the god of all Daleks!
Daleks: Worship him! Worship him! Worship him!
The Doctor: They're insane! Hiding in silence for hundreds of years, that's enough to drive anyone mad... but it's worse than that. Driven mad by your own flesh. The stink of humanity. Oh, you hate your own existence... and that makes them more deadly then ever. We're going!
Emperor Dalek: You may not leave my presence!
Daleks: Stay where you are! Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate! Worship him! Exterminate! Worship him! Exterminate! Exterminate! Exterminate! You will be exterminated!
--
The Doctor: I'm dead -- or about to die any second, with no chance of escape. And that's okay. Hope it's a good death.
--
The Doctor: This is wrong! You can't control life and death!
Rose: But I can. The sun and the moon, the day and night... but why do they hurt?
The Doctor: The power's gonna kill you, and it's my fault!
Rose: I can see everything. All that is. All that was. All that ever could be.
The Doctor: That's what I see -- all the time. And doesn't it drive you mad?
Rose: My head...!
The Doctor: Come here...
Rose: It's killing me...!
The Doctor: I think you need a doctor.
--
Rose: Doctor!!
The Doctor: Stay away!!
Rose: Doctor, tell me what's going on...
The Doctor: I absorbed all the energy of the time vortex, and no-one's meant to do that...every cell in my body's dying.
Rose: Isn't there something you can do?
The Doctor: Yeah, I'm doing it now. See, Time Lords have this little trick, it's sort of a way of cheating death. Except... it means I'm gonna change. And...you're not gonna see me again. Not like this. Not with this daft old face. And before I go...
Rose: Don't say that...!
The Doctor: Rose, before I go, I just wanna tell you: you were fantastic, absolutely fantastic. And you know what? So was I!
[Doctor regenerates]
Some Hex 1s:
Jo: Hey, have you had any thoughts about what you want to do next term?
Cassie: Yeah, quite a few actually.
Jo: Good, because I want to put you in for an English module. I thought you might like "Women in Love: Romantic Heroines Through the Ages." Well, it's either that or Milton.
Cassie: The first, thanks.
Jo: So, David says you're staying here for Christmas.
Cassie: Mmmmhmmm.
Jo: Surely, they'll let your mom out of hospital.
Cassie: Yeah, I know, but I really don't want to spend my time feeding turkey to a vegetable. (Jo looks shocked.) Tell me, these "women in love," are they actually going to do anything? Because suppressed desire's all well and good, but it's a bit boring without any action.
Jo: Well...
Cassie: Maybe we should just read some of your erotic stories...
-
Roxanne: (to Leon) Your turn.
Leon: Truth.
Roxanne: How old was the oldest woman you've ever slept with?
Troy: Hahaha...mate!
Leon: You had to ask that, didn't you?
Roxanne: I had a feeling it was a sore point.
Leon: Yeah? Well, I'm not telling.
Roxanne: You have to.
Gemma: Awww!
Leon: No way. I'll do two dares.
Gemma: Doesn't count.
Roxanne: No, no...that's the rules.
Gemma: What HAVE you been up to?
Roxanne: Fine. (motions toward Troy). Kiss him.
Troy: Mate, answer the question!
Leon: OK, it was ...a friend of my mother's.
Gemma: Oh my God, that's gross.
Cassie: How old was she?
Leon: Old enough to know what to do.
Troy: What, drew her up pension up, mate?
Leon: She hadn't had it so good in years.
Roxanne: She probably hadn't HAD it in years.
Cassie: C'mon, answer the question.
Gemma: You have to.
Leon: No, I don't.
Roxanne: Fine, well, if he's not gonna play ball, I guess we should just go home.
Troy: Yeah, I'm ready to call it a night.
Leon: OK, OK! She was....fifty...
Cassie: Fifty?! (Troy clears his throat).
Leon:...four.
Gemma: Ooooo...talk about "help the aged!"
Leon: She had had plenty of plastic surgery!
Roxanne: Really? Where?
Leon: Where it counts.
--
Jo Watkins: Maybe we should tell your mum? Mmm...maybe not. (Into the telephone) Mmm, I’ll hold. (to Cassie) So do you know who the father is?
Cassie: (shrugging)
Jo Watkins: Is that a yes, but I’m not going to tell you or a no, I’ve slept with so many people I have no idea.
Cassie: Mmm...
Jo Watkins: Well there can’t be that many options can there?
Cassie: It’s hard to say.
--
Cassie: Did you sleep with her?
Azazeal: That’s none of your business.
Cassie: Brilliant. I’m up the duff and you’re shagging my teacher.
--
Cassie: It was hideous, Thelma! So hideous I almost felt sorry for it.
Thelma: And you're sure it wasn't Felix.
Cassie: It wasn't Felix. It was a Nephelim.
Thelma: Well, you know what that means.
Cassie: I should leave the country.
Thelma: There are 199 more of those little monsters just waiting to say "hello."
Cassie: Ain't life grand?
Thelma: It also means...
Cassie: Yes, I'm very well-aware of what it also means.
Thelma: So, you gonna claim child benefits?
Cassie: No, I'm gonna find Azazeal.
Thelma: Right!
Cassie: Torture him.
Thelma: Yep!
Cassie: And then kill him.
Thelma: OK!
--
Thelma: You know, if you had showed up on time you wouldn't be kebabbing a baby, and Cassie would be home and dry!
Ella: If I had showed up on time, there'd be no baby, and Cassie would be dead.
Thelma: But you didn't. You're a bit rubbish, aren't you?
Ella approaches Thelma with a knife.
Thelma: Now, now. Play nice.
Ella: (while sticking the knife in Thelma's stomach) The blade must go beneath the ribs...up into the heart. The precise length--8 inches. Enough to cleave the body and soul of any mortal.
Thelma: (whispering) Cleave the body and soul. Got it. So size really is important, right?
Ella: In death as it is in life. Size is always important. (She pulls knife out.)
--
Thelma: You know, if you had showed up on time you wouldn't be kebabbing a baby, and Cassie would be home and dry!
Ella: If I had showed up on time, there'd be no baby, and Cassie would be dead.
Thelma: But you didn't. You're a bit rubbish, aren't you?
Ella approaches Thelma with a knife.
Thelma: Now, now. Play nice.
Ella: (while sticking the knife in Thelma's stomach) The blade must go beneath the ribs...up into the heart. The precise length--8 inches. Enough to cleave the body and soul of any mortal.
Thelma: (whispering) Cleave the body and soul. Got it. So size really is important, right?
Ella: In death as it is in life. Size is always important. (She pulls knife out.)
--
In a classroom with Jez Heriot.
Jez: Yes, um, Roxanne, isn't it?
Roxanne: Mr. Heriot?
Jez: Please, please. Call me Jez. Just Jez.
Roxanne: Jez, OK. (She puts on her "smart" glasses.)
Leon: (snarkily) Jez!
Roxanne: OK, cool. (Reading the blackboard.) You also put "Sexual Responsibility in the Modern World"...
Leon: (to Jez) It's the only reason she came.
Roxanne: And I just wonder, what does that mean exactly?
Jez: Well, what do you think it means? Any ideas, Leon?
Leon: Uh, no, sorry. Don't you know, Jez?
Jez: Fair point. Well, I'll tell you. I think it's very easy these days to form relationships without taking any time to consider the consequences...
Leon: (whispering at Roxanne) Rose, Rose. (gestures) This guy's a wanker.
Jez: ...emotional intelligence. You familiar with emotional intelligence, Leon?
Tom: He's not familiar with any kind of intelligence. (Classroom erupts in laughter.)
Leon: Sod off.
Jez: OK, c'mon. Settle down.
Roxanne: What is it with you guys? You can't handle a serious discussion? (To Jez) Just ignore them, Jez, they're on screen-saver. The lot of them.
--
Thelma and Ella are in a church.
Thelma: Why are we here?
Ella: Oooh, big question for a ghost!
Thelma: Smartass, you know what I mean.
Ella: Mind your language. Now, holy water...where do you think they keep it?
Thelma: You're nicking holy water from a church, and you're worried about my language? You are so full of shhhhhh....
Ella: Just keep a lookout!
Thelma: What for?
Ella: Anything suspicious.
Thelma: What, like us, you mean?
--
Thelma: (after seeing a demon) Ahhhh, oh my! Ahhhhh!
Ella: (appears from behind a curtain) I've got it. Come on, we're going. What are you doing?
Thelma: (pointing and whispering) Demon! (Ella walks away.) Don't go and look at it!
Ella: Where?
Thelma: It was like "BLEEEEEH!" and I was like "bluuuuh!" and it was like "WOOSH! WOOSH!" and I was like...
Ella: YES! I GOT IT! Thank you! Well, it's not there now.
Thelma: It was big, and it was black, and it was over there.
Ella: Thelma, Thelma. It was nothing. (Thelma points behind Ella's head) What? (Ella turns around) Oh shit!
--
Jez: Do you talk to your friends?
Roxanne: Yes, of course, but it’s not really the same. I mean, and I don’t mean this in an arrogant way but I just...I feel that I’m somehow older than them, that I see the world differently.
Jez: How’s that?
Roxanne: Ah well, for example, I think that sex and death are very connected. And I don’t think that they’d understand that.
Jez: Not sure I do.
Roxanne: (suggestively) Oh. Shall I explain it to you?
--
Leon: Ok, let’s see. Mutilated body in a ditch…Rox, you stand to make oooh 26 pound profit. And of course if there’s evidence of sexual molestation, I keep the lot.
Roxanne: You’re a sick, sad man Leon Taylor.
Leon: Like you weren’t all thinking the same.
--
In Jez's bedroom, Roxanne and Jez are chatting after a romp. Roxanne is putting on clothes.
Jez: You always dress like that?
Roxanne (pulling her skirt on): What do you want me to do, pull it out of my head? (hooks on her bra) This isn't art-it's science.
Jez: How's Ella?
Roxanne (annoyed): Not her.
Jez: C'mon, Roxanne! I'm concerned about Ella. It's my job to look after my students' needs!
Roxanne (seductively): Don't you do your job well!
Leon: Didn't know you had so many talents, Rox. Fashion guru. Bitch. Photographer. Oh, sorry, did I mention 'bitch'?
Roxanne: Oh, all I did was make you a star!
Leon: No. You made her (Ella) one. (Leon walks away, and Ella walks out of the classroom.)
Roxanne to Ella: Oh, hi! I love the look!
Ella: It's a track suit, Roxanne.
Roxanne: Well, some men like that, ya know. Animal musk and all that.
Ella: I can't see Jez going for it.
Roxanne: I didn't know you were interested in Jez.
Ella: I'm not, you are. (Ella walks ahead of Roxanne.)
Roxanne: Don't be ridiculous-he's a man of the cloth for Christ's sake!
Ella: Nothing like a challenge, huh?
--
Thelma and Ella are in the computer lab.
Thelma: Do you know anything about the witch?
Ella: Thelma! Go bug someone else! (Walks away)
Thelma to herself: You know the best thing about being a ghost? No PMT!
--
Ella,banging Malachis head against the locker
Ella: Put your armour on Malachi it's time to go to war!
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